Mother of Invention

mbox.jpgThe co-founder of Matchbox Toys, Jack Odell, died recently, aged 87.

His idea for matchbox sized cars came from his daughters school who banned all toys which couldn’t fit into a matchbox.

He will no doubt be buried in a slightly bigger box but is guaranteed his place in toy heaven.

Say 5

Ugli Tree Rating:  An essential part of growing up (for boys)

July 9, 2007 at 8:07 pm Leave a comment

Carbon Offset? Plant more Ugli Trees!

How many Ugli Trees do you need to plant to offset your return flight to Florida?

Well the sad truth is that you probably can’t. Once you’ve burnt the hydrocarbons to get you across the Atlantic there’s no easy way to get it back into the ground again. The Genie is out of the bottle.

However, there are lots of companies that will gladly take your money in order to make you feel better about your impact on the future of the planet. Unfortunately there is no way of auditing these schemes and no way of guaranteeing that a tree grown one year doesn’t go up in smoke the next.

While the phony nature of carbon offsetting maybe hard to debunk – some guys in Wales have produced a great spoof website that explains it better than any scientist could. See www.cheatneutral.com.

Say 1

Ugli Tree Rating:  Upset the offsetters.

June 4, 2007 at 3:36 pm Leave a comment

Eurovisionary

eurovision-2004-juontajat.jpgThe recent Eurovision song contest tells us many things about our European neighbours – fashion sense, music, political alliances and geographically based voting patterns.

However the main thing it tells us is that the UK is an island and nobody likes us.

Say 2

Ugli Tree Rating:  Puppet on a string.

May 14, 2007 at 5:52 pm Leave a comment

Re-Cut Trailers

taxi_driver.jpgA phenomena is sweeping YouTube. Video editors (presumably with plenty of time on their hands) are creating their own movie trailers. However these one totally mis-represent the film upon the clips are based

Mary Poppins is now Scary Mary and Taxi Driver a romantic feel good movie.

For a look at more trailers – click here for Recut Trailers.

Say 4

UgliTree Rating: People with too much time on their hands

May 9, 2007 at 4:14 pm Leave a comment

Life on Mars – Heaven or Hell

camberwick-green.jpgSo Life on Mars has came to its spectacular conclusion and after many twists and turns in the story, all has become clear.

However, as Sam Tyler sheds this mortal coil in the last show and returns to his old police chums – we are left with one inescapable question.

Is Manchester in 1973 Heaven or Hell?

Say 3

Ugli Tree Rating: Ashes to Ashes, Funk to Funky

April 12, 2007 at 7:22 pm Leave a comment

Last of the Summer Car Reviews

top_gear_summer_wine1.jpgHas anyone noticed how Top Gear is turning into Last of the Summer Wine?

Three old chums, who should know better, fooling around in the countryside for comic effect.

All they need is a laughter track and Nora Batty’s tights and the transition will be complete.

Say 2

Ugli Tree Rating: Looking forward to Clegg’s review of the new Audi A5!

March 12, 2007 at 10:26 am 1 comment

Text 524769 to Complain About this Post

I’m sorry – anybody who calls a premium rate number given out on the TV deserves to get ripped off. So do we really need a new regulator to tell us this?

It’s a sad truth that some people feel it is important in their life that they need to influence which of two dishes Eamon Holmes might eat on a Saturday morning on the telly.

Now if it was a vote to get Eamon to eat a poo sandwich or, given his weight, not eat anything at all – that might be worth an extra pound on your phone bill.

Say 1

Ugli Tree Rating: Turn your phone off and get a life.

March 9, 2007 at 11:14 am Leave a comment

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Rating System Explained

r1
Hit all the branches on the way down - Ugli.

r2
A big fall - pretty ugli.

r3
Quite alot of damage from this height.

r4
A short drop - a few bruises on the way down.

r5
Doesn’t fall to far - so not bad.

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