Posts filed under ‘5 – rating (Ugli)’

Yo Blair!

blairJust saw a re-run of Tony Blair on the Simpsons. He recorded his lines for the show at the height of our involvement in the Iraq war.  At the time it struck me as rather unfortunate timing, especially considering the disasterous nature of the war.

The news today that Tony Blair will have earned £15m since he left office is a considerable acheivement. The only problem is that in thise same period he has been the UN Envoy to the Middle East. While he has no doubt mixed with the world richest and most influential people in a ccumulating this huge sum of money,  he has not once been to Gaza.

Lets hope this sizeable pile of cash is a consellation to the tragedy in Gaza, which has taken place on his watch.

u5

Ugli Tree Rating: Perhaps you can work a little harder and earn a little less.

January 11, 2009 at 5:14 pm 2 comments

Close Encounters

turbineThere have been some interesting explanations for the damage caused to a wind turbine in Lincolnshire.

A local group of UFO enthusiasts (you can always find a local UFO group) claim the damage was caused by a flying saucer or some sort of space vehicle.

Now excuse me, the idea of a UFO flying across millions of light years, avoiding meteor showers, worm holes, black holes, solar flares and finally Earth’s atmosphere only to be kiboshed by a small rotating turbine seem a little far fetch.

Having said that I’ve travelled across continents only to get my luggage trapped in a revolivng door of the departure terminal so maybe there is something in it.

r4

Uglitree rating: We are not alone.

January 9, 2009 at 7:31 pm Leave a comment

Carbon Offset? Plant more Ugli Trees!

How many Ugli Trees do you need to plant to offset your return flight to Florida?

Well the sad truth is that you probably can’t. Once you’ve burnt the hydrocarbons to get you across the Atlantic there’s no easy way to get it back into the ground again. The Genie is out of the bottle.

However, there are lots of companies that will gladly take your money in order to make you feel better about your impact on the future of the planet. Unfortunately there is no way of auditing these schemes and no way of guaranteeing that a tree grown one year doesn’t go up in smoke the next.

While the phony nature of carbon offsetting maybe hard to debunk – some guys in Wales have produced a great spoof website that explains it better than any scientist could. See www.cheatneutral.com.

Say 1

Ugli Tree Rating:  Upset the offsetters.

June 4, 2007 at 3:36 pm Leave a comment

Text 524769 to Complain About this Post

I’m sorry – anybody who calls a premium rate number given out on the TV deserves to get ripped off. So do we really need a new regulator to tell us this?

It’s a sad truth that some people feel it is important in their life that they need to influence which of two dishes Eamon Holmes might eat on a Saturday morning on the telly.

Now if it was a vote to get Eamon to eat a poo sandwich or, given his weight, not eat anything at all – that might be worth an extra pound on your phone bill.

Say 1

Ugli Tree Rating: Turn your phone off and get a life.

March 9, 2007 at 11:14 am Leave a comment

Sport or Personality?

zaratrophy203.jpgWith the “BBC Sports Personality of the Year Award”, the perennial complaint is that it has nothing to do with Personality. With winners such as Nigel Mansell, Michael Owen, Damon Hill and David Beckham its hard to argue the point.

This year promised a first. David Walliams (who we have championed on these pages) was definitely all Personality and not much sport. Sadly he didn’t make the final list which surely is a shame as it would have been very amusing to hear the reverse argument that he’s a “personality” not a “sports person”.

I guess the sad truth is that people like Freddy Flintoff, Ian Botham and Daly Thompson can’t win every year.

However in 2006 the winner has achieved a first of another kind. She is neither a personality or doing a real sport.

Ugli Tree Rating: Horses for courses

Say 1

December 15, 2006 at 4:14 pm Leave a comment

Rugby Balls – it’s all going pear shaped

BallsIts very hard to defend the world of football where the supporters world is a very black and white affair. To a fan life is simple – your team are either heroes or traitors, gods or muppets, the best club in the world or an overpaid bunch of w**kers.

However fickle or simplistic the world of a football fan is – surely anything must be better than being an England Rugby Union fan.

Every England international draws a full house of corporate suits and the comfortably off. And every match they are treated to a one sided spectacle of non-competition, poor hospitality, anti climax and in recent times just straight defeat.

And what do you hear from the England fans as they leave the home of rugby, outrage, anger, abuse? Not a bit of it. The converation is about property prices in Twickenham, their next corporate jolly, the FTSE index, commercial development of the South stand, how the Bordeaux was not room temperature, and bemusement why the Heathrow flight path can’t be changed for major internationals.

Perhaps if one fan stood up in the South Stand and started to chant “You’re crap and you know you are!” perhaps everything might change. It might start a wave of abuse and spleen venting from the most influential section of English society that would lead to the sacking of the manager and a change in the rules of the sport.

Or maybe that would be too impolite.

Ugli tree rating: Rugby league is the best winter spectator support.

Say 1

November 11, 2006 at 10:39 pm 2 comments

President Bush

The war on terror, global warming, nuclear proliferation, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan and North Korea.

What a great job!

Watch the video and make up your own mind.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88FkIprzLxU]

Ugli Tree Rating:

Say 1

Continue Reading October 10, 2006 at 10:13 am 2 comments

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r1
Hit all the branches on the way down - Ugli.

r2
A big fall - pretty ugli.

r3
Quite alot of damage from this height.

r4
A short drop - a few bruises on the way down.

r5
Doesn’t fall to far - so not bad.

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